Ain't never played golf like this before: Junkyard Golf Club London

I was recently in London for my friend’s hen do and while I’ve been there often, it’s such a big city that I often seem to be discovering new places to explore. On this occasion, we headed to East London play some variation of crazy golf: Junkyard Golf.

I’ve never played crazy golf before, but it’s set in a great location at The Loading Bay at the Old Truman Brewery. In one afternoon, you can play some holes, fill your bellies from the food stalls, vans or cafes and pubs nearby, then go shopping for artisan products from nearby market stalls and shops.

At junkyard golf, you get to choose between three nine hole crazy golf courses of weird and twisted junk, car booty and charity shop shizzle. The choices are’FRANK’ (Putt Up Or Shut Up), ‘PEDRO’ (Polluted Paradise), or HELGA (In Da Club) and from Monday 19th September, you’ll also get BRUCE.

For a course of crazy golf, it costs only £9.61 per person (£8.50 with a booking fee) and you book through their website (click here), I thought it wasn’t too bad a price to pay when you could be spending 2 hours navigating each course. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it appears they’ve converted an empty warehouse space into various courses of crazy golf. Each person gets up to 8 attempts at the same hole before you’re asked to move on to the next one to keep the flow of traffic running smoothly.

We decided to go with Helga where we found ourselves faced with courses with a speed boat in the first course, a mad techno wendy house on the second course, and pageant cow in I-Beef-A for course 3. Needless to say, we were amazed by.

Hole 1

The crazy disco Wendy House

We’re Going To I-Beef-A!

Old car parts, your aim is to get the golf ball doing a full 360 following the curve of the tire!

Hole 5: starting at the bottom left corner, get the ball up the steep slope and into the hole at the top right corner behind the buggy and in front of the traffic light

Hole 7 in the UV Techno section (Daftwerk)

While waiting for our turn, we couldn’t help standing under the purple UV lights to see our teeth shine purple

If you’re also in the mood for a few drinks and food, there are 4 bars available, serving banging cocktails, like the Golf Lundgren or Who’s Your Caddy and legenday STREET FOOD trader Barts Dog Kart.

Junkyard golf is a good lot of fun if you’re looking for something funky and different from your usual rounds of crazy golf. The only other fun course of crazy golf I’d seen that I would have liked to have played (but didn’t) was at Banksy’s Dismaland (see my previous post here).

Junkyard Golf is also available at Piccadilly Place, Manchester and you can book tickets for their courses here.

Junkyard Golf in London is available daily (Monday to Sunday) from 12:00-11:00pm (under 18s are only permitted until 7:00pm Monday to Thursday) at Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, London, E1 6QL. It’s too loud there for any phone calls, but you can either visit them if you’re in London or you can send any questions by e-mail.


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